"The Heart Knoweth Its Own Bitterness" (1857)

When all the over-work of life
Is finished once, and fast asleep
We swerve no more beneath the knife
But taste that silence cool and deep;
Forgetful of the highways rough,
Forgetful of the thorny scourge,
Forgetful of the tossing surge,
Then shall we find it is enough?

How can we say "enough" on earth--
"Enough" with such a craving heart?
I have not found it since my birth,
But still have bartered part for part.
I have not held and hugged the whole,
But paid the old to gain the new:
Much have I paid, yet much is due,
Till I am beggared sense and soul.

I used to labour, used to strive
For pleasure with a restless will:
Now if I save my soul alive
All else what matters, good or ill?
I used to dream alone, to plan
Unspoken hopes and days to come:--
Of all my past this is the sum--
I will not lean on child of man.

To give, to give, not to receive!
I long to pour myself, my soul,
Not to keep back or count or leave,
But king with king to give the whole.
I long for one to stir my deep--
I have had enough of help and gift--
I long for one to search and sift
Myself, to take myself and keep.

You scratch my surface with your pin,
You stroke me smooth with hushing breath:--
Nay pierce, nay probe, nay dig within,
Probe my quick core and sound my depth.
You call me with a puny call,
You talk, you smile, you nothing do:
How should I spend my heart on you,
My heart that so outweighs you all?

Your vessels are by much too strait:
Were I to pour, you could not hold.--
Bear with me: I must bear to wait,
A fountain sealed through heat and cold.
Bear with me days or months or years:
Deep must call deep until the end
When friend shall no more envy friend
Nor vex his friend at unawares.

Not in this world of hope deferred,
This world of perishable stuff:--
Eye hath not seen nor ear hath heard
Nor heart conceived that full "enough":
Here moans the separating sea,
Here harvests fail, here breaks the heart:
There God shall join and no man part,
I full of Christ and Christ of me.

Here's what Marsh says about this poem: The title "(used more than once by CGR) [is] from Proverbs 14:10, 'The heart knoweth his own bitterness; and a stranger does not intermeddle with his joy'.... she also notes that "you" in line 33 is plural (this is made apparant in the final lines of the stanza). She borrows other Scriptural lines: Song of Solomon 4:12, 'A garden inclosed is my sister, my spouse; a spring shut up, a fountain sealed.' and she borrows the line, "Eye hath not seen, ear hath not heard" from Revelation. This refers to the unknowability of what God has prepared for his flock.

I also noted that CGR uses her favorite phrase from her early years: "a hope deferred" (l.49).

This poem is typical CGR; she intentionally sets up a tension of contradiction. The subject opens by asking if at the end of life all of earth's cravings will have been enough. She then personalizes the thought by describing her own desires and concludes that it is better to want to give than to receive (another biblical allusion). She wants to give of herself but (and here is where she introduces the contradiction) to give, she must be understood. She admits that she wants someone to "stir my deep" (l.29). The next entire stanza elaborates on this line of thinking, showing that she posesses much depth, but that no one is willing to scratch beneath the surface. She states that her depth of feeling would overflow the shallow vessels of others. In this respect she both attracts and repels people: "understand me, but know you cannot understand me" may be a fitting summation. Yet she asks you (plural) to bear with her as if she lies in a dormant state (the fountain sealed). Her craving, ununderstandable soul can only be satisfied and understood when she is with Christ in heaven. The final statement is her ultimate goal and explains the craving; only in Christ can she find satisfaction. Her soul is complete when it is full of Christ and he of her. The tone is hopeful but seems to evade the issue of communion with her fellow man - their flaws and shallowness is not enough. She is both humble and proud - she is deep while they are superficial.